I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize