i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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