proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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