is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
