Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
