im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
