He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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