the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
My life is pants optional.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
