I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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