2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I am full of burrito and curiosity
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
