My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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