The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Randomize
