I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
