Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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