Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
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That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
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I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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