that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
