I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
