my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
