doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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