just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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