i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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