I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize