I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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