I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
