textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize