Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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