its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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