So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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