I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Just puked most of my soul out..
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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