Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Randomize
