when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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