the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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