I love black thongs
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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