I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
i think i just lost a toe
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
