i think my mom watched the whole time
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
