also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
