Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
