btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
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