Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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