Whod you bang
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
found the other keg... it's in the tree
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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