my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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