Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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