Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
