do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
did you just send me my own nude
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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