We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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