hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize