I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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