We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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