did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
