Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
