I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
