there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize