You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
my sisters under your porch take her home
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
