im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
