saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
A bitchslap is in order.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize