I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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