Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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